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– “Am urmarit stirile in ultima vreme si am aflat ca Romania e pe ultimul loc in Europa la consumul de pasta de dinti si sampon. Noi credem in igiena si sustinem dreptul Romaniei si al tuturor tarilor africane la curatenie…”
– “HUOo, canta, fa, Like a Virgin, ‘ti’ar periuta ta a naibii! D-aia am dat io doua milioane sa inghit prafu’ asta si sa nu vad nici macar o tata!?”

Daca Madonna nu ar fi fost adusa de Vodafone ci de primarul Pandele, un astfel de dialog cu masa rurala a tarii ar fi fost perfect verosimil. Nu-i vorba, ca la Stefanestii de Jos ar fi fost mai putin praf decat in Parcul Izvor, iar daca Pandele se simtea si cu o bere si un gratar, publicul ar fi fost chiar mai cooperant. Asa, batrana culturista in ciorapi de plasa a avut in fata crema tinerimii romane: corporatisti, care muncesc pe rupte si se distreaza la fel de organizat precum muncesc, si copii de bani gata, care au avut cui cere bani de bilet.
Madonna ar fi putut aduna date despre problemele natiunii de pe wikipedia si ar fi putut spune acelasi gen de adevaruri boante oriunde in lume: pericolul SIDA in Africa, al obezitatii in America, al razboiului in Orient si tot asa. Intr-un fel, ne putem bucura ca nu ne-a zis-o p-aia cu pasta de dinti si ne-a bagat placa cu toleranta. Dar daca ne-o spunea, ce trebuia sa facem? Sa ne enervam sau sa ne spalam pe dinti?
Sa ne imaginam o stire de genul: “Mesajul pacifist al lui Bono a starnit indignare in Sierra Leone”. Ce-am fi putut crede despre localnici decat ca sunt un fel de salbatici insetati de sange. Indiferent cata ura se revarsa pe forumuri cand se deschide subiectul romilor, bottom line e urmatorul: patriotii ne-au facut inca o data de ras, iar cu ajutorul lor am parut inca o data o tara din lumea a treia, patria lui Dracula cel insetat de sange. Poate sa plateasca Udrea oricate clipuri cu sportivi romani pe Eurosport, care sa ne prezinte ca taramul ospitalitatii, ca o stire ca asta pe CNN ne transforma intr-un fel de tara a sectei Amish, in care locuitorii se insoara doar cu verisoarele lor.
Luate separat, multe dintre persoanele care au huiduit probabil se considera destupate la minte si cu nimic mai prejos decat un occidental, al carui stil de viata l-au si adoptat in cea mai mare parte. Pe multi banalitatea problemei folosite de Madonna pe post de predica probabil ca i-a si jignit. Dar chiar aici e problema, ca au reusit sa arate ca nu sunt in stare sa accepte nici macar principii jenant de banale pentru lumea vestica. Cei care au huiduit probabil cred ca romanii sunt cei mai toleranti de pe fata pamantului si ca problema discriminarii e o bazaconie inventata de americani ca sa frece ridichea. Dar fiecare dintre ei, odata plecat de la concert redevine functionar, procuror, judecator, patron sau director de resurse umane. Prejudecatile de care a dat dovada in public nu ii vor influenta si deciziile din viata de zi cu zi, daca va avea de pilda de ales intre a angaja sau nu pe cineva care are alta culoare a pielii? Madonna a avut eleganta de a pretinde ca nu observa reactia ostila a publicului, dar nici nu vreau sa ma gandesc ce-o fi fost in inimile celorlalti artisti de pe scena, lautarii rusi (intre noi fie spus, mai talentati decat Madonna si) huiduiti pentru prima data in viata lor de cateva zeci de mii de romani verzi.
Cu ce amintire vor pleca ei din Romania? Cu aceea a unei tari care nu are nici macar un stadion pentru un asemenea concert, la care spectatorii stau cu batistele la nas ca sa nu inhaleze praf si vad o farama dintr-un ecran pe care ruleaza show-ul. Mai bine pentru ei ca n-au iesit din hotel zilele astea, ar fi aflat ca romanului daca ii spui ca i-a scapat ambalajul de la biscuiti pe jos si nu in cos, risti sa te alegi si cu falca dislocata.
Sigur, se poate spune ca romanii nu sunt cu mult mai intoleranti decat vesticii. Din pacate le lipseste pana si acea fatarnicie politicoasa, care a facut viata suportabila in America si in alte tari pentru imigrantii de toate culorile. Cum bine spunea cineva, dupa ce vezi cateva zile fetele incruntate din autobuzele din Bucuresti, ti se face asa un dor de zambetele false din Occident!
Cat despre Madonna, desi toti sunt impresionati de “cat de bine se tine”, as spune ca mai degraba imbatraneste urat. De la o varsta incolo, show-urile in chiloti si insinuarile orgasmice parca devin tot mai jenante. Iar modul grosier in care incearca sa se rebranduiasca ma convinge si ca nici n-a inteles mare lucru din cat a trait. Decat s-o vad mimand actul sexual de pe un tron, la pachet cu noaua editie de carti pentru copii si rucsacul de banalitati ecologisto-umaniste, as fi preferat o diva care sa imbatraneasca cu mai mult sarm, cu mai mult mister si cu mai multa discretie. Probabil ca de unde nu e, nici Dumnezeu nu cere.
PS: Ca sa intelegem mai bine cum am reusit sa ne acoperim de penibil si de data asta, o sa incerc sa gasesc fragmentul dintr-un concert U2 din ’90 in care e invocata Romania, ca sa auziti reactia publicului irlandez.

Nici nu se compara cu orginalul, dar sa zicem ca e si ea vesela si zgubilitica, pacat ca nu intelege exact despre ce canta.

A long long time ago I can still remember
How that music used to make me smile
And I knew that if I had my chance
I could make those people dance
And maybe they’d be happy for a while

Did you write the book of love
And do you have faith in God above
If the Bible tells you so
Now do you believe in rock ‘n roll
And can music save your mortal soul
And can you teach me how to dance real slow

Well, I know that you’re in love with him
Cuz I saw you dancin’ in the gym
You both kicked off your shoes
Man, I dig those rhythm and blues

I was a lonely teenage broncin’ buck
With a pink carnation and a pickup truck
But I knew that I was out of luck
The day the music died

I started singing

Bye bye Miss American Pie
Drove my chevy to the levee
But the levee was dry
And good old boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye
Singin’ this will be the day that I die
This will be the day that I die

I met a girl who sang the blues
And I asked her for some happy news
But she just smiled and turned away
Well, I went down to the sacred store
Where I’d heard the music years before
But the man there said the music wouldn’t play

Well now in the streets the children screamed
The lovers cried and the poets dreamed
But not a word was spoken
The church bells all were broken
And the three men I admire the most
The Father, Son and the Holy Ghost
They caught the last train for the coast
The day the music died

They started singing

Bye bye Miss American Pie
Drove my chevy to the levee
But the levee was dry
And good old boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye
Singin’ this will be the day that I die
This will be the day that I die

Bye bye Miss American Pie
Drove my chevy to the levee
But the levee was dry
And good old boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye
Singin’ this will be the day that I die
This will be the day that I die

We started singin’



Take a bow, the night is over
This masquerade is getting older
Lights are low, the curtains down
There’s no one here
There’s no one here, there’s no one in the crowd.
Say your lines but do you feel them
Do you mean what you say when there’s no one around. No one around
Watching you, watching me, one lonely star
One lonely star you don’t know who you are

I’ve always been in love with you. Always with you.
I guess you’ve always known it’s true. You know it’s true
You took my love for granted, why oh why
The show is over, say good-bye

Say good-bye, say good-bye

Make them laugh, it comes so easy
When you get to the part
Where you’re breaking my heart. Breaking my heart
Hide behind your smile, all the world loves a clown
Just make ’em smile the whole world loves a clown
Wish you well, I cannot stay
You deserve an award for the role that you played. Role that you played.
No more masquerade, you’re one lonely star
One lonely star and you don’t know who you are

I’ve always been in love with you. Always with you.
I guess you’ve always known it’s true. You know it’s true
You took my love for granted, why oh why
The show is over, say good-bye
Say good-bye, say good-bye

All the world is a stage. World is a stage
And everyone has their part. Has their part
But how was I to know which way the story’d go
How was I to know you’d break
You’d break, you’d break, you’d break
You’d break my heart

I’ve always been in love with you
I’ve always been in love with you
Guess you’ve always known
You took my love for granted, why oh why
The show is over, say good-bye

I’ve always been in love with you. Always with you.
I guess you’ve always known it’s true. You know it’s true
You took my love for granted, why oh why
The show is over, say good-bye

Say good-bye, say good-bye
Say good-bye



Madonna – Take A Bow – traducere (mot a mot)

Fa o plecaciune, noaptea trece,
Circul acesta se sfarseste,
Luminile se sting, cortina cade
Nimeni n-a mai ramas
Din public, nimeni nu a mai ramas.

Spune-ti replicile, dar, le simti oare?
Crezi ce spui cand nu mai ai spectatori?
Privindu-ma, privindu-te, o singura stea,
O singura stea si nu stii cine esti.

Te-am iubit dintotdeauna,
Probabil ai stiut mereu ca e asa
Iubirea mea ti s-a parut fireasca,
Oare de ce?
Acum spectacolul e gata, spune la revedere.

Fa-i sa rada, iti vine atat de usor,
Cand ajungi la momentul
In care imi frangi inima
Ascunde-te dupa zambetul tau,
Toata lumea iubeste clownii
Iti urez numai bine, nu pot sa spun
Ca meriti si un trofeu pentru rol,
Gata circul, esti o stea singuratica
O stea singuratica si nu stii cine esti.

Toata lumea e o scena,
Toti actorii jucam,
Dar cum puteam sa stiu de la inceput
Ca imi vei rupe inima-n final?

Spectacolul se termina,
Fa o reverenta.

You only see what your eyes want to see
How can life be what you want it to be
You’re frozen when your heart’s not open
You’re so consumed with how much you get
You waste your time with hate and regret
You’re frozen when your heart’s not open

If I could melt your heart
We’d never be apart
Give yourself to me
You are the key

Now there’s no point in placing the blame
And you should know I’d suffer the same
If I lose you, my heart would be broken
Love is a bird, she needs to fly
Let all the hurt inside you die
You’re frozen when your heart’s not open

If I could melt your heart
We’d never be apart
Give yourself to me
You are the key

You only see what your eyes want to see
How can life be what you want it to be
You’re frozen when your heart’s not open

If I could melt your heart
We’d never be apart
Give yourself to me
You are the key
If I could melt your heart
We’d never be apart
Give yourself to me
You are the key
If I could melt your heart



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